damn

i cant fuking just be happy with anything.im so happy with jeremy.. but of course i have to be stupid and fuck that up.im so sick of myself...
Right now i would love to just fall asleep and not wake up until everything just works it self out and i can just be happy and not stupid. and stop doing stupid shit to piss him off.

IM fucking stupid

im so stupid. i dont know what the hell is up with me. like now. i dont kno
im just being stupid and i dont wanna be stupid to him. im gonna fuck us up again. im so fucking stupid right now i wish i wasnt with him so i couldnt do this shit. i just wish i could just go to sleep and not wake up. i just hate myself right now.. and i already pissed him off.

i dont even kno why hes with me. All i am is a false hope
all i know that is true is that right now.
if i could pay for sumthing to make me change who i am right now i would pay anything not
to be like this to him.

just cus i haet myself i shouldnt be taken it out on him.
Just i cant stop and thats all i want to do
hes gonna get sick of me i kno it.
yet i cant stop
and thats the last thing in the world that i want is to lose him yet.
im not stopping. i dunno what the hell is wrong with me

me him

so me and him talked about stuff last night and yea. we're gonna be okay.. i deleted all my old stuff and started off all new and clear. im about to go to bed hes at work and im toast..shes being a total bitch and i dunno even why.

gone and pissed him off

i dont what i did. i guesss hes mad cus i talked to Sara?. i dunno. i mean what did i do? and now he wont even tell me hes mad and i know he is. and god i mean so what maybe i just am tired of hating the girl. i mean i dunno. i was talking to her and like i actaully like her. i never thought id say that about her. but its the truth. like we have stuff in common.. and i just dont understand why hes mad.. i thought it wouldnt be a bad thing. i mean i didnt think itd be great cus were getting along but i didnt think hed be made about it? it doesnt make sense and now my stomach is up set and i need to puke.. cus im just upset.so thats it for now